Oh Crap

One Man's waste is Another Man's Treasure.

When I was a child, I never liked going to the bathroom at my grandma's farm back home in Switzerland. The trip required leaving the warm living room and walking to the dark outhouse, where the wooden seat was as uninviting as a stone pillow. There was no flusher, only old newspaper to wipe.

But this old-fashioned outhouse and the fact that it was a cold winter day once saved my father $800.

We had visited our grandparents, and after returning home, my dad discovered that his wallet was missing. We searched frantically everywhere for it, but it did not show up. My dad decided for us all to go in the car and drive back to grandma Rosalie’s house. First thing my dad did was walk straight to the outhouse, where, with the help of a flashlight, he discovered his missing wallet floating on the half-frozen cesspool content. Literally, we all had to help with “money laundering”, laughing, as the paper bills had to be washed and dried in grandma’s kitchen.

Today, in the western world, most people conduct their “business” in indoor bathrooms. So I was surprised to learn about two young Swiss entrepreneurs who dared to start a business with wooden compost toilets (kompotoi.ch).

One of them had spent some years in India, where he studied sustainable agriculture and nature-based ecosystems. He learned how precious soil or fertilizer could be produced out of human feces. With the help of his partner, an environmental engineer, they started building small, wooden outhouses. The entrepreneurs organized “green” events and invited a couple of hundred people. Kompotoi’s waterless outhouses were the only bathrooms available at the gathering. After using the outhouses, guests were instructed to sprinkle wood chips on their urine or feces. The wood chips, which were used, are waste products from local sawmills. They help minimize the smell and speed up composting into fertilizer. Kompotoi collects the full barrels, provides fresh wooden chips, and clean the outhouses regularly. The collected material goes through a composting process and the fertilizer is offered for sale through the company’s website.

Today, these entrepreneurs rent out and maintain their portable toilets to environmentally conscientious companies and outdoor events. The firm’s slogan: “We not only compost your human output but try to leave a better Earth behind,” caught the Zeitgeist of today, and needless to say, their business is thriving.

Did you know that human waste can also be beneficial to everybody's health? During the recent Covid-19 pandemic, many communities around the world used wastewater surveillance systems to track the presence of SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes Covid-19. By analyzing untreated wastewater, scientists can pinpoint and quantify data about the severity and spread of Covid-19 in a community. With these results, health departments can act quickly to take measures to prevent the expansion of the virus.

Every serious gardener will tell you that there is no better fertilizer than horse manure or chicken waste. Composted animal excrement is organic matter that helps stabilize nutrients, and provides a healthy environment for plants to grow.

Do you know what to look for in a desert or rural area if you had to build a fire without wood? You guessed it right - Dry animal dung. In many countries like India, Egypt, Mali, and Afghanistan, “dung cakes” are still produced and used as a cheap fuel source, readily available, a classic example of a renewable energy source.

With today’s astronomically high prices for oil and other non-renewable sources of energy, biogas (methane) produced from cow dung is becoming more and more popular. Biogas production can also be considered an effective way to treat organic waste, which produces greenhouse gases if untreated. In Israel, researchers are feeding the spent manure (after it’s been “degassed”) to fish being raised in farm ponds.

Do you know what Kopi Luwak coffee is made of? Animal poop! According to Wikipedia, Kopi Luwak coffee consists of partially digested coffee cherries, which have been eaten and defecated by the Asian palm civet, a wild, cat-like animal found mostly in Southeast Asia. Coffee connoisseurs call it the most exclusive coffee on Earth. For a small can of 3.5 oz or 100g, you will pay over $100.

Another unknown fact is the use of animal droppings in beauty treatments. If you have read “Memoirs of a Geisha” by Arthur Golden, you will recall the character Chiyo, who repays Hatsumomo’s cruelty by mixing pigeon poop instead of nightingale droppings into her facial cream. Throughout Japanese history, “Uguisu no fun” literally means nightingale feces, which refers to the excrement produced by the Japanese bush warbler. It’s also called “Geisha Facial.” The facial is said to whiten the skin and balance skin tone.

I could not end this topic without referring to my favorite animal poop: Goat pellets. Oderless, flawless in shape and form, all produced in the same size and color.
A masterpiece.